Name Your Poison
by zcross1997
Summary: Plankton has a plan to get Mr. Krabs to tell him the formula. Get him so drunk that he blurts it out. How he gets him to drink, through the use of song. Will he succeed?


Name Your Poison

Plankton has a new plan to get the formula out of Mr. Krabs. Get him so drunk that he blurts out the formula.

Disclaimer: I don't own Spongebob Squarepants or the characters. They the property of Nickelodeon and creations of Stephen Hillenburg. The song "Name Your Poison" is from the movie "Return if Captain Invincible", I don't own that either. Nor do I own the drinks named in the song.

(Inside the Chum Bucket)

Mr. Krabs is tied up against the wall in the Chum Bucket laboratory. He sees Plankton towards him.

"Hello, Krabs. It's good to see you this fine day."

Mr. Krabs wastes no time yelling at Plankton, because he knows what Plankton wants. "You'll never get me formula, Plankton! I'm wise to act, you know I can't lose."

Plankton sadistically laughs at Mr. Krabs, "Oh I'm not going to take it, Krabs. You're going to tell it to me."

Mr. Krabs laughs are in Plankton's. "How do you think I'm gonna tell you the formula, ya little runt?"

"Like this, Eugene." Plankton pushes a button, revealing a full bar. Music tune starts. Plankton begins singing, whilst he shoves various alcohols in Mr. Krabs' face.

_"__Mai Tai say that I'm Old Fashioned_

_Très Vin ordinaire. That I want a fresh Manhattan  
With white anglo-saxons everywhere? A Black Russian's, no Pink lady, give her the Singapore sling! And Moscow mule is not your baby, so Highball the Vodka and name your sting! Be a big shot with a Bull shot. Be a Schwein, Mit der Wein! Have a short, or a Port, or a snort, of any sort! Asti spumante – Uno Chianti Are divine!"_

Back up dancers appear behind Plankton holding various different alcohols. Mr. Krabs is struggling with his restraints against the wall.

_"__I got some economic hocks. A gin and tonic on the rocks! Where angels fear to tread, I say: Choose your booze! Let's hit the Red eye!  
Think of young Deanna Durbin  
And how she sung on Rum and Bourbon  
Or enhance your lunch-  
Eon hour with a Planter's Punch  
And a Whiskey sour!  
If you feel like a wreck  
Try a Horse's Neck  
Or a Sherry  
With a cherry  
In the new fun size!"_

Mr. Krabs finally breaks of his restraints and tries to run away, but is stopped the dancers and held down by them.

_"If you don't name your poison_  
_I'll have to get the boys in_  
_The spirit of adventure opens one's eyes!_  
_If you don't name your poison_  
_I'll have to get the boys in_  
_And you'll never see another Tequila Sunrise!"_

A dancer forces Makers' Mark down Mr. Krabs' throat

_"__Live happily ever after  
With a Chablis and some laughter  
"Between the Sheets" is lovely  
With a dizzy blonde and a bottle of bubbly!  
There's nothing sicker in society  
Than a lack of liquor and sobriety!  
So, down the hatch  
Here's mud in your eye  
Take a bracer  
With a chaser  
Wash it down with Rye!  
Bottoms up!  
Stirrup cup!"_

Another dancer forces Mr. Krabs to drink Bacardi

_"__It'll put you in the pink  
And all you have to do is  
Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!"_

Mr. Krabs is given Absoult

_"__Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!"_

_"__Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!"_

Mr. Krabs is given Captain Morgan

_"__Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!"_

_"__Driiiink!"_

_"__Driiiink!"_

Mr. Krabs is given Budweiser and the music stops. Mr Krabs is beyond drunk at this point, but Plankton walks over to him, putting his hand to his ear. "So, Krabs, is there a certain formula you would like to tell me now?"

" Oooohhhh..." Mr. Krabs passes out due to the excessive alcohol, without saying the formula. Plankton is now very ornery at his plan failing.

"Drat! Maybe I could try this on his employees."

The dancers look at each other, not like the prospect of doing the exact same dance two more times. "You're paying us triple, if we have to do this two more times.

"Do I look like I have that kind of money? I own the CHUM BUCKET! Wait... why are you looking at me like that?" The dancers proceed to beat up Plankton with empty bottles of booze. "AAAHHHH! KAREN, HELP ME! Karen?" Plankton looks over to Karen, who drinking digital Bombay Sapphire.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The End

This is my first Spongebob Fanfiction, review and tell me what you think. I have other movie music parodies that I plan on using in the future


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